Whether you’re devout or agnostic, these tongue-in-cheek Jesus inspired stocking stuffers are intended for those with a healthy sense of humor. 14 divine, funny, useful and affordable ways to bring a sacrilegious giggle to the holiday. Note: this post was updated in 2024.
15 Jesus inspired Christmas Stocking Stuffers
1. Inflatable Jesus
Inflatable Jesus model for hours of fun • Blow up the Lord and he’s ready for action • Instant Jesus wherever you need him • He floats on water • Measures 50cm tall
Buy Blow-up Jesus Christ – Inflatable Jesus Fun!
2. Buddy Christ Statue Dashboard Figurine
The Uplifting Buddy Christ from Kevin Smith’s movie Dogma is now available for your dash!
100% plastic • Measures approx. 4.75″ tall • Comes packaged in a color box w/ clear window front
Buy Buddy Christ Statue Dashboard Figurine
3. Jesus Bandages
Tin Container measures approx. 3-3/4″ H • Includes 15 bandages • Each bandage measures approx. 3″ L x 3/4″ W • Bonus trinket in each tin
Accoutrements Jesus Bandages
4. Jesus of Nazareth Bendy
Made of soft, safe PVC material • Bendable and poseable • Great companion on the journey of life!
Buy Jesus of Nazareth Bendable Figure
5. Grow Your Own Jesus
Expands up to 600% its original size once placed in water. Your little faith healer will slowly shrink back to his original size once he is taken out.
Buy Grow Your Own Jesus
6. Jesus Action Figure
Made of hard vinyl • 5″ tall figure • Poseable arms
Buy Accoutrements Jesus Action Figure
7. Buddy Christ, 1000 Piece Jigsaw Puzzle
Made by Renegade Games, this 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle has a Poster Included, Linen Finish, Features The Uplifting Buddy Christ from Kevin Smith’s Dogma
buy it here
8. Dashboard Jesus
Hard vinyl 4.5″ figure • Sits on metal spring with an adhesive base • Add a little serenity to your commute
Buy Dashboard Jesus
9. Jesus Magnetic Finger Puppet
A Jesus magnetic finger puppet! On your finger, it’s a puppet; on your fridge, it’s a magnet! • Approx. 4″ tall.
Buy Jesus Magnetic Finger Puppet
10. What Would Jesus Wear – Jesus Magnetic Dress Up Doll Play Set
You can dress J.C. in anything from traditional garb (white robe, cross) to surfer dude (tie-dyed shirt and surfer shorts). There are also loads of props such as loaves, fishes, chalices, hats, and tools from his carpenter years. Yep, we’re sure Jesus has a sense of humor. If not, we’re in a LOT of trouble.
Buy The WWJW magnetic dress up here
11. Dancing with Jesus: Bobbling Figurine (RP Minis)
3″ dancing Jesus bobbling figurine with 48-page illustrated mini book including 10 dance moves with how-to instructions, along with the inspiration for each dance derived from Jesus’s life and teachings. Illustrated conga line backdrop to display with your figurine.
Buy mini Dancing with Jesus bobbling figurine
12. Royal Bobbles Jesus Christ Bobblehead
Heavyweight Polyresin construction • Finest quality Jesus bobblehead that has ever been produced • Limited Edition collectible bobblehead from Royal Bobbles • Colorful collector box with styrofoam protection
Buy Jesus Christ Bobblehead by Royal Bobbles
13. Jesus Christ Keychain with LED flashlight
Let Jesus light the way with this pocket sized keychain of Jesus with led beam light
Buy Jesus Christ Keychain with LED flashlight
14. and Jesus Washed Soap
and Jesus Washed Soap – Made in The USA. • Almond, cocoa butter scent. • Each piece of mini soap is 2oz 2.25″ x 1.75″ x 1″
Buy it here
And while this won’t fit in a stocking, there’s no way I could leave this one out:
15. The Grilled Cheesus Sandwich Press
• Toasts the face of Jesus on every sandwich
• Non-stick plates mean heavenly quick clean ups!
• The rays help to evenly distribute heat ensuring the perfect toast.
• Keep it holy, use swiss 🙂
• A portion of our proceeds are donated toward doing good deeds around the world.
Buy The Grilled Cheesus Sandwich Press